Threesomes: Loving becoming a unicorn

Whenever she 1st asked me personally if I’d be interested in using her along with her heterosexual cis-male partner, I happened to ben’t looking a three-way. I wanted to understand more about sex with femme-presenting ladies.

We saw couples whom looked for thirds the way many others would, as shady and just contemplating their very own increases – just like the dreaded unicorn hunters.

But the woman information was actually compassionate, and I figured, ‘You need to?’

I had no experience with threesomes with bi-curious lovers. I had just come out annually previous as a bisexual and polyamorous woman after hiding for several years, and jumping from just one monogamous right relationship to the following.

Being bisexual brought the most common tags of being ‘dirty’ for appreciating women and men sexually.

Being polyamorous and doing relaxed sex required I was as well promiscuous, not psychologically loyal sufficient, and branded a cheater before we actually met for a coffee.

Becoming plus-size with a human anatomy image/eating ailment just enhanced the emotions of inadequacy and shame for who Im.

Then when she messaged myself, telling me personally she thought I became gorgeous, and asking me to meet their and her spouse for a glass or two to discover the way we thought, we got the chance.

Two lips in the place of one, four hands rather than two worshipped my human body, and that I them. And also for the first time in an exceedingly while, we felt desired, appealing, and wanted. And especially, we decided I could eventually be me.

U

nicorn hunting
is quite
a phrase that describes
lovers, normally cisgender, bi-curious ones, on the lookout for a third to become listed on them for intimate play. This
third
, aptly called the
‘unicorn’
when it comes down to seen rareness of these existence, is essentially a cisgender, lean, femme-presenting bisexual or bi curious woman, person who is actually unmarried, happy for No Strings Attached (NSA) plans, and will be intimately special using the pair.

I’m not a true unicorn as I’m not single, sexually special, nor slim.

My personal major lover phone calls me personally a rainicorn rather. I’ve found the phrase charming as rainicorns (stimulated by

Adventure Time

) also come in all kinds of tints, forms, and characters. I thrive on becoming a 3rd for couples, taking their particular sexual dreams your without the additional strings of an emotional accessory. We simply take great enjoyment in-being the thing both need.

Intimacy, personally, is generally but a delightful second, a quick night of enthusiasm with no further expectations.

Anti-unicorn hunting is promoting from a need to emphasize the harms that numerous bisexual cisgender and femme-presenting females feel while they are hunted by couples for prospective three-ways. It typically promotes throuple and triad circumstances versus one-off intimate encounters to guarantee the legal rights of all of the included.

And I also get it. Bisexual women can be usually painted as promiscuous, sexual objects, sexually experimental, hyper-sexual, and thought getting up for and all sorts of sexual activity, including three-ways. Lots of were maltreated through this practice of hunting, and that cannot be reduced.

To be honest though, i’m the majority of those actions. Getting a unicorn has become the one and only devote which these components of my identification that are regularly coated as misconceptions about bisexual folks are valued.

Just like the feminist philosopher Ann Cahill suggests, to not be intimately objectified, such as for example in the case of excess fat females, is visible to be rejected a sexuality and permission to relish delight, one thing to that I have felt highly in the most common of living.

Welcoming this identity provides allowed me to seek sexual fulfilment in another collection of steps, and to engage my personal hyper-sexuality, in place of reject it.

I will be sick and tired of men and women speaking personally, making the assumption that I will be constantly in danger of exploitation from the sheer assumption of my bisexuality and femme-presenting gender. That being hunted indicates I am constantly prey. That I must constantly want an intense, enchanting, and on-going commitment with a few in place of anything relaxed.

W

hile we are painted as ‘rare’, I think there might be a lot more ladies at all like me in covering up. After all, exactly why would I or any person want to come onward openly as a unicorn, whenever user discussion forums and the like paint unicorn hunters as ‘disgusting’ and only trying to ‘spice up their particular boring gender lives’?

Where really does that leave those of us exactly who enjoy getting part of those characteristics since the hunted?

Whenever shaming these lovers occurs, our company is additionally shaming the unicorns who practice these methods. We are producing the narrative wherein bi-curious NSA three-ways are considered usually naturally problematic encounters, in addition to strengthening the notion that women only actually ever want intimate hookup, that individuals cannot possibly be thinking about merely sex.

We have to open up area and start to become aware of variety of intimate experiences. We possibly may engage in a variety of sexual procedures and engagements, as well as some of us bi-women, becoming promiscuous, open to NSA three-ways, and hyper-sexual, isn’t a negative thing.

Neither is it an inherently bad representation of bisexuality much more generally. Most likely, it is far from the representation that’s the problem, it’s the way in which it’s weaponised.

Unfortunately, the anti-unicorn ‘community’ is performing a damn okay job of pathologising me personally, and women like me, because we dare elect to accept areas of ourselves that are seen as a ‘problem’ by other individuals. Because we dare are ‘bad’ bisexuals.

I am a bisexual ‘rainicorn’.

And that I never similar to becoming hunted.

We fucking love it.

Rainicorn operates in research, emphasizing systems, sexuality and gender, intimate procedures, and health insurance and well being. She recognizes as a bisexual, cisgender, polyamorous plus-size Anglo-Celtic lady, and is sex good, kink/fetish good, and fat positive. Within her time, she loves painting and composing music, as well as the delectable delights with the carnal underworld.

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